Confessions of a Die Hard Walker

One of the best things about being self-employed is working for yourself. ha! But there’s a flip side to that. When I first started this company, I didn’t know s**t.

I’ve stumbled and bumbled over many hills and dales. One of the said hills (or it might have been a dale!), was the error in judgment that why wouldn’t anyone want to walk, anytime, anyplace. Just because I thought walking any time is good for you, everyone would feel the same way. I’ve learned many things, one of them that life is different for everyone and it’s important to respect this for others. Figuring out that walking doesn’t always feel good, came at a hard price.

When my husband got sick with pancreatic cancer.I was beyond stressed, but didn’t even realize it. I went out for walks just because I thought I “should.”But those walks were like I was on a race track. Going out just to say I did. I was in a constant state of panic I would chew on the inside of my mouth, rushing so I could get back to him, to make sure he was still okay, still breathing. Majorly stressed out. I would be panting by the time I got home, as if I’d run the 2 minute mile (is there such a thing?).

But the truth is, those walks, no matter how stressful or unrelaxing they were, they helped me vent. I actually would feel better when I’d get home. Those walks helped me to release tension and feel the outdoors, even though they made me tense, they helped me to release tension, too.  But one thing I didn’t anticipate was that they also helped me to understand why not everyone feels great or even good, about walking.

I don’t know if having someone to walk with at that time would have helped me. Maybe. Maybe I was just holding my fear so tight I couldn’t share it with anybody. Then again, maybe having someone at my side whether we talked or not, would have been a comfort, helped me to calm down and know that I had someone there who supported me. A sense of a community.

A walking partner doesn’t have to talk with you. They can just be there, listen, not talk. Just having someone at your side sometimes is enough. Walking with someone as far or not far as you need. Walking with someone at your side.

There’s the quiet reinforcement. The listening aspect. I think if I’d had someone there beside me, it would have helped me be a better caregiver for my dear husband. WomenWalking; partners in community.